This week I’ve launched my new business.
School is over. It’s time to apply what I’ve learned and put the petal to the metal.
Website is built waiting for hits and form submissions. YouTube Channel is built waiting for more videos, subscribers and likes. Facebook page is built and ready for posts and conversations. Instagram account is ready for posts, community and growth. Email Marketing is ready to capture leads. Special tools for the trade are bought and waiting to be used in real life scenarios. Daily mentor ship is in place. I’ve finally found my unique voice that I will use in this quest. New morning exercise habits and organic eating are in place. Business phone is ready to take calls.
But am I ready?
Can I fly?
I’m terrified, but peaceful at the same time.
Torn. Yet together.
I know that Papa Yah made human beings capable of so many things. But am I capable of this? Yes! I can do this! If he is with me, I can accomplish this new goal. And I believe he said he is with me. I feel that the Ruach has sent me into a funnel of her own –– to go where she wants me to go. To learn and gain capabilities that she wants me to have.
We are almost out of cash. We are using our last dollars to launch 2 different businesses and get them off the ground while at the same time eat and pay rent. I feel like it’s dive or fly. I am losing in order to gain. I am spending in order to make. This is a Kingdom concept that I’m applying in a new area of my life. Who knew that my Mama, the Ruach ha’Kodesh would take me here to learn something? Who knew that she wanted me to have financial literacy and learn how to make money? Who knew this would be part of the journey for a believer. I thought everything to learn would be in the Wilderness and in Wandering and in poverty.
But there is another level of “dependence upon him” that I must learn. And it comes with a “better life.”
Now, I know that my “Better Life” is when I’m communing with Elohim and there is little between us. That is where we were made to live. But struggling so hard to have movement in our life (quality food, inspiring shelter, proper fitting clothes and Creation exploration for our hearts) is not the abundant / better life Yahshua offers.
I know so much awaits us when he brings his reward with him, but what if? What if there is some abundance here that he wants me to have. He knows I will use it in other-centered LOVE. I’ve been trained now to operate like Them in all situations.
How about a new situation to learn from? 🙂
I’ve never been interested in this before. Up to this 50th year I have been content to do the non-normal thing. I’ve dealt well with whatever situation I have found myself in. Doing ministry out of a 5′ x 5′ mouse infested barn stall in the dead of winter with my laptop propped up on the chest freezer; working on the floor of a campground bathroom to get power and borrow internet for my laptop; filming weekly videos in a freezing storage unit or rat infested barn; editing and creating products in a canvas tipi throughout cold Idaho winters with my back to the fire and frozen fingers on the keyboard…..
I’ve been die hard for the King, but my family is not as die-hard as I.
I knew that my 50th year was going to be a Jubilee year, getting freedom in more areas of my life. But who knew she was going to start such a burn in my heart for this kind of change and freedom? I’m finally seeing the toll that poverty, misery and ministry has taken on my family… Every waking hour I am conscious of the gravity of people’s eternal direction. My heart has been so dedicated to Yahshua’s call to ministry and serving others that I have just assumed that my family has been on board this whole time. They don’t have the same fire I do. They’ve been great sports, but they are really just coming along for the ride. If I wasn’t here… well, actually Hadassah has the fire. So, she’d take over. 🙂
One of the hardest things I’ve had to overcome these past few months is the draw back to ministry. I want to go back to serving the Ladies and my YouTube audience so bad! It truly is extremely hard to stay away from.
But I have to. If I don’t step away from helping the masses … my family will drown. I need to care of them and my own heart or I’ll be of no use to the King and his Kingdom in the future. It’s time for a change. It’s time to walk into the Promised Land and take it. We’ve been in the Wilderness wandering for a LONG time. For some people the Wilderness, poverty and trials move them toward Papa Yah. That is me. When things go bad he’s the first place I go. When things go good he is the first One I thank. For others poverty and years and years of trials damages their relationship with Papa. It makes them question his heart toward them. When learning from Dean Graziosi, I’m looking for success alignment with what the Scriptures says, for it is our guide for what TRUTH is. I do this with most everything. This allows me to operate in freedom in this world, glean skill sets, find joy and yet not be part of this world.
I have been through a lot over the past 50 years. I can identify with people who are going through many many different situations. Rules and guilt from man-made religion. Verbal and physical abuse. Single mommy-ing. Special needs. Wilderness. Poverty. Entrepreneur-ing and building and loosing business. Employees. Sex outside of marriage. Going back to school as a parent. Disrespectful teenagers that judge your every move and bring darkness into the home. Community judgement. Best friends and family turning on you. Suffering for decades under the expectations of family of origin. Moving. Being homeless. Living paycheck to paycheck.
But one things I have not done yet is get financial literacy and all that goes with that kind of prosperity.
I have learned from my mentors that money is not the root of all evil. Lack of it is. Money controls the poor, because the poor are constantly in need of it.
I’m off to get freedom from money so I can serve better and live longer. I’m closing my ears to the naysayers…including that part of me.