Yesterday Isaac officially resigned trucking. Ready or not.
I haven’t been blogging these past 2 weeks because I’ve been spending my “extra time” on my series of private See with Kingdom Eyes videos for TEAM REBEKAH. If you want access to these daily videos please join my team here. I don’t know if I will make those videos public or not. So get access to them while you can, if you want. 🙂 When this Challenge is over I may start blogging again. We’ll see.
I’m up to blog this Shabbat morning while everyone else is asleep, because yesterday was important to document.
Isaac thought that the week at the beach during the Spring Feasts combined with a weekend at a hot springs with a massage and rest would be what he needed for his body to heal. But it wasn’t enough. After several visits to the chiropractor, CBD rubs and rest this week trying to recover from back strain, and seizing muscles in his back and neck, it was clear to him that his trucking days were over. I didn’t say much at all. This was his decision.
During the grey, rain and cold of yesterday Isaac and I went to the yard and moved him out of his blue truck #5116 and he turned in his keys to his driver manager. Then we went to celebrate and thank Papa Yah for the past year and what is ahead.
Trucking has been an interesting venture for this family to take on. For one thing, just learning a new rhythm without Isaac this past year was hard. We have been each other’s best friends since college. We have been through so much together and have worked side-by-side in so many situations that it has been weird to live without him. On the flip side of that, his physical absence has made it easier for me to attack things that having him here would likely prevent or make harder to do.
I remember back to when he got his CDL at the during the end of winter early in 2018. It was a huge thing for Isaac to embrace something he wanted and to go after it. He rarely does that. I’m so proud of him for accomplishing this goal! If you haven’t watched the video I did of him getting his CDL here it is:
Pros to the Past Year
I’m so proud of Isaac for attacking this job with all of his heart. He has learned so much during this past year! He got a career. He has a CDL in his pocket! He learned how to communicate better. He learned how to take care of himself and not use his ezer as a crutch. 🙂 He learned to keep his eyes open around him more and look for situations and other truckers that needed his help. He made more money than he ever has in one year! He owned his own schedule (a trucker’s legal clock is crazy to keep). He got bonuses for being a safe driver. In a year he drove far enough to circle the globe three times–about 75,000 miles–in a vehicle that weighed over 100,000 lbs. when fully loaded.
A year ago he chose the heavy-haul regional flatbed division. This was the only department in the company that would “promise” to get him home on Friday (but that could have been Friday at midnight — which isn’t what Papa Yah was talking about). Systems driver managers and supervisors did the best they could to accommodate our Shabbat and Feast needs. But….
Heart is Settled. Why He’s Calling it Quits…
As we sat talking over our lunch Isaac listed off why his heart was settled and why this was the right decision.
Over all, it’s because we want a new level of life and he realized staying in trucking until it’s “safe to leave” would never get our life to change. He had to take the risk and leave now while he had a physical reason propelling him.
He rehearsed his growing con list regarding this trucking job:
HIS HEALTH CHALLENGED. The hours and hours of sitting is causing extended back and neck issues. Pulling tarps and holding the steering wheel for hours at a time is causing arthritis in his hands. Jumping into full gear from sitting to pulling and folding tarps in all kinds of weather has strained his muscles in bad ways. The materials inside the cab of the the truck that he was breathing day after day have caused skin issues and hair loss. The exhaust and fuel smells caused headaches. And though I sent him a ton of good food before he left he wasn’t gaining weight, but has been losing weight since he started–and he’s too skinny already. He knows he has never really valued his own health and has sacrificed his body for many jobs he has had. He is realizing that that is not sustainable anymore.
STRESS ELIMINATION. A big reason he quit is for the elimination of the stress (his health conditions haven’t helped the stress, duh!). The stress has actually become a physical problem. Anxiety, loss of sleep, loss of appetite. Leaving home after being home for only 36 hours each week was getting harder and harder to do. The stress of “would he be home for Shabbat?” was ever present. He said that from the moment he left us every Sunday he would be stressed about if and when he would make it back home. I was always stressed on Fridays, not knowing if he would be home or if I would have to quickly arrange a plane ticket for him to come home. Sometimes I would find an air bnb for him to stay at over Shabbat and sometimes I would drop everything and either go get him so he could stop at sunset or I would go stay with him over Shabbat. At times he would cry over the phone to me as he trucked away from us for the week. He would attempt to laugh it off saying something about a tradition of ‘drivin and cryin.’ A truckers schedule is insane. The whole romantic idea of trucking was just becoming no fun anymore.
GROWING APART. I was starting my own company while he was leaving to truck all week long. He saw the potential for he and I to grow apart. We need to stay together, not grow apart. He said this scared him more than anything else.
NOT LEARNING. Isaac says that he’s not learning much anymore or really improving as a professional driver and that this is another reason he left trucking. He thought he would continue to grow as a trucker. Perhaps become a trainer or get his own truck. But all the challenges of those 2 things don’t seem worth it to him anymore and he understands the dangers of becoming complacent in a high risk activity like trucking.
WIFE SUFFERING PHYSICALLY. Another reason was this winter was hard on me. I was super sick longer than I have ever been. I just couldn’t get better and we think it was mostly because he was gone. I needed him. Whether it was just emotional or because I was trying to do everything at home with no help, we dunno completely. But it became clearer when Isaac came home for a week. That week I got better and the symptoms (voice and throat issues) I was struggling with left. But then as soon as he left for work I re-lapsed the next day.
COMMITTING TO A BETTER LIFE. Another large reason was inspired by Dean Graziosi’s 30 Day Challenge (which you can join me and do with me until 6/7/19) and an audio book called Rich Dad Poor Dad that I had bought him 2 weeks ago. Right before our vaca to the hot springs last week he inhaled that audio book. He listened to the cd’s over 4 times each as he trucked. On our way up to the hot springs last weekend we listened to them again. We had so much to talk about. We had no idea there was more matrix that Papa wants to free us from. More freedom from lies we had inherited regarding money. We had no idea! Isaac doesn’t just want a “job” anymore. He wants to work smarter instead of harder. What we have done for the past 35 years just isn’t working. We can’t afford the time to work harder on the treadmill. We need to work smarter and climb a ladder––if not own the ladder! That audio book impacted him greatly! Now he wants to build our kingdom instead of building someone else’s kingdom (and the government’s bank book, which we discovered that a middle class person can work from the first of January to the middle of May to pay taxes to the government). It’s a little frustrating as I have been trying to say these things to him for years (as I’m the entrepreneur in the family), but it took Robert Kiyosaki saying it to impact Isaac’s heart. Yay! However it happens is okay with me. I’m just glad it’s now when it’s not too late. On his own, Isaac is finally coming to terms with being married to me and has decided to join me instead of fighting me and waiting for me to make logical sense. LOL! Also, music to my ears is that he feels that he has under-valued our lifestyle needs as well as the streams of revenue which I have built and tried so hard to get to go from a drip to a flow. This is super good news to me to hear him say this. We need to be freed up to live Papa’s Feast rhythm and do ministry. We need to build our assets instead of building someone else’s. We are going to grow up, learn new things, gain wisdom and have success in areas that we always felt others had more right to.
Telling the Girls
The girls didn’t know until he told them during Erev Shabbat dinner last night. They were confused, yet happy about it. Maggie and Isaac have a project they are going to start doing together, which is grand!
I have only 1 regret. I never got to go trucking with him. Hadassah spent a whole week out on the road with him last summer, but neither Maggie nor I did. I did meet up with him to help him with a couple of the loads he delivered in our area. And I got to sleep in the cab once when Hadassah and I went to see him while he was stranded in Seattle over Shabbat one time….but the only time I was in the truck while he drove was during his CDL final test a year ago. 🙂
Inspired to Change
He is inspired this week to change our life, to let the pressure build on me to make this new business get off the ground. I’m excited to have him home and pursue abundant life together! This move is a vote of confidence in Yah, in me and in our better life.
After mailing out something as our first big move in our new business, here are a few other things I did yesterday worth mentioning: