Can’t Return to Ministry Until this Changes

Isaac finished our taxes today. We discovered once again, that we paid to do ministry this past year. I’ve known this, and have been happy to do my best at all costs, but didn’t realize how serious it was.

Teshuvah Ministries operating expenses for 2018 was approx. $12,000. But income for Teshuvah Ministries (between my RebekahCo store, royalties from my Lulu store and donations / Patreon sponsors) for 2018 was approx. $6,000. Not a big deal, except when it is 22% of one’s yearly income. That means that Isaac (because he is the only one “working”) paid nearly $6,000 for me to do ministry.

I can’t ask this anymore of him.

I’m very thankful for the support and sales that I did make this past year. So, don’t get me wrong, but this is ridiculous. I have gladly spent my own money to do ministry and I rarely think about what it is costing––but this is Isaac’s life! He’s living apart from us to make this. I didn’t realize how bad it has gotten. I spent lots of time this past year creating several new avenues for revenue (see links above)––hoping support would increase and the burden on my own family would decrease. But it’s not changing. It’s getting worse.

I really like this image. She’s stopping creating to be thoughtful and pray. That’s me right now.

This is unacceptable. I will not ask this of my husband anymore. His health is suffering. We are living apart. The girls miss their dad.

This is not working.

This is stressful.

This is stupid.

I’m done.

Can’t return until this changes.

I’m serious.


“Papa! I have repented! I know that I served the gods of my upbringing in the past and hurt you and your cause. And for that I am repentant to my core. I have heard you call to me! I have crossed over. I have lived in and will continue to live in teshuvah. I serve ONLY you––the Elohim of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I believe in your Son, Yahshua! I’ve given you my everything and every breath I have breathed. Today, I see a huge problem that I can no longer bear and I want you to know that I can not keep going like this. This insane lack will kill both Isaac and I and then what good will we be to you and your Kingdom?

I have asked this before of you, but this year (my Jubilee year) I stretch out my hands to you for YOU to fill with blessings of so much abundance that my hands can not contain them. I look to YOU to change this. I look to you for FREEDOM! I will work hard. I will learn skill sets I don’t have yet. I will be brave and courageous to learn from the best. But YOU must take me to the next level of freedom! I want freedom to move, to create, to pursue life. But lack and poverty and being upside-down in our finances is NOT thriving. It is NOT freedom. It is NOT what you want for your people. You even say it in the Scriptures! You’re desire has always been to bless your people!

YOU are my deliverer. Change our personal life. Let us thrive as a family and individually. And then, if and when YOU want me back to do ministry then YOU make Teshuvah Ministries thrive and support itself. My work is still working for you! Even though I know you don’t need them, I have made so many financial venues possible for you to bless. Use them or not. I don’t care. Just gather the finances together. Wake up the sleeping giant to help our ministry thrive. We, as a family, have endured and sacrificed so much to reach the Scattered. I’m begging you to help me. Be my ezer! Bless me with prosperity so that I can have freedom, bring Isaac home, take care of Hadassah, come home to the Land and have choices and movement, as needed. Let my ministry to YOUR people be done from the over abundance of the good you have given me and not be from this place of lack. I will not keep trying to do ministry from this place anymore.”


About Lady Rebekah

The Happy Hippy Hebrew Girl :-)
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5 Responses to Can’t Return to Ministry Until this Changes

  1. Amen!!! ditto on all comments above! Praying for you & your family and the ministry. His awesome perfect will be done! 🙂

  2. Rebecca Dalelio says:

    A word from your Daddy: I, Adonai , will be their God; and my servant David will be prince among them. I, Adonai , have spoken. I will make a covenant of peace with them; I will rid the land of wild animals; and they will live securely in the desert and sleep in the forests. I will make them and the places around my hill a blessing, and I will cause the rain to fall when it should — there will be showers of blessing. The trees in the field will bear their fruit and the soil its produce, and they will be secure in their land. Then they will know that I am Adonai , when I break the bars of their yoke and rescue them from the power of those who turned them into slaves. No longer will they be prey for the Goyim , nor will the wild animals devour them; but they will live securely, with no one to make them afraid. I will make the productivity of their crops famous, and they will no longer be consumed by hunger in the land or bear the shame of the Goyim any more. They will know that I, Adonai their God, am with them, and that they, the house of Isra’el, are my people,’ says Adonai Elohim . ‘You, my sheep, the sheep in my pasture, are human beings; and I am your God,’ says Adonai Elohim .” (Ezk 34)

  3. marieeroh says:

    I have been thinking a lot about what we as a family are doing with my husband’s time via the money we spend. are we using it in ways that support the life we want? our values and belief system? are we being good stewards of what we have been given? time? money? energy?

    i believe your outlook is healthy. far to easily we take on more, whether for good reasons or not, and it depletes us. i love you and support you in your decision (not that you need my support persay but sometimes it’s nice to hear anyway). hugs my friend and no matter what GREAT things are in store for you and yours!!

  4. Rebecca Dalelio says:

    Thank you Isaac for your sacrifices to your family, and to your Father! Thank you Rebekah for your sacrifices to your family and to the family of your Father! May Yahovah Eloheim richly bless you with overflowing abundance! If there is anything I can do to help, please do not hesitate to contact me.

  5. Oh Rebekah! I pray this for and with you. I need freedom too. Don’t we all💕 I believe Papa will answer in ways only Elohim can… And it will be better than anything you can imagine. Love you and sending you big hugs of encouragement.

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