Isaac finished our taxes today. We discovered once again, that we paid to do ministry this past year. I’ve known this, and have been happy to do my best at all costs, but didn’t realize how serious it was.
Teshuvah Ministries operating expenses for 2018 was approx. $12,000. But income for Teshuvah Ministries (between my RebekahCo store, royalties from my Lulu store and donations / Patreon sponsors) for 2018 was approx. $6,000. Not a big deal, except when it is 22% of one’s yearly income. That means that Isaac (because he is the only one “working”) paid nearly $6,000 for me to do ministry.
I can’t ask this anymore of him.
I’m very thankful for the support and sales that I did make this past year. So, don’t get me wrong, but this is ridiculous. I have gladly spent my own money to do ministry and I rarely think about what it is costing––but this is Isaac’s life! He’s living apart from us to make this. I didn’t realize how bad it has gotten. I spent lots of time this past year creating several new avenues for revenue (see links above)––hoping support would increase and the burden on my own family would decrease. But it’s not changing. It’s getting worse.
This is unacceptable. I will not ask this of my husband anymore. His health is suffering. We are living apart. The girls miss their dad.
This is not working.
This is stressful.
This is stupid.
Can’t return until this changes.
“Papa! I have repented! I know that I served the gods of my upbringing in the past and hurt you and your cause. And for that I am repentant to my core. I have heard you call to me! I have crossed over. I have lived in and will continue to live in teshuvah. I serve ONLY you––the Elohim of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I believe in your Son, Yahshua! I’ve given you my everything and every breath I have breathed. Today, I see a huge problem that I can no longer bear and I want you to know that I can not keep going like this. This insane lack will kill both Isaac and I and then what good will we be to you and your Kingdom?
I have asked this before of you, but this year (my Jubilee year) I stretch out my hands to you for YOU to fill with blessings of so much abundance that my hands can not contain them. I look to YOU to change this. I look to you for FREEDOM! I will work hard. I will learn skill sets I don’t have yet. I will be brave and courageous to learn from the best. But YOU must take me to the next level of freedom! I want freedom to move, to create, to pursue life. But lack and poverty and being upside-down in our finances is NOT thriving. It is NOT freedom. It is NOT what you want for your people. You even say it in the Scriptures! You’re desire has always been to bless your people!
YOU are my deliverer. Change our personal life. Let us thrive as a family and individually. And then, if and when YOU want me back to do ministry then YOU make Teshuvah Ministries thrive and support itself. My work is still working for you! Even though I know you don’t need them, I have made so many financial venues possible for you to bless. Use them or not. I don’t care. Just gather the finances together. Wake up the sleeping giant to help our ministry thrive. We, as a family, have endured and sacrificed so much to reach the Scattered. I’m begging you to help me. Be my ezer! Bless me with prosperity so that I can have freedom, bring Isaac home, take care of Hadassah, come home to the Land and have choices and movement, as needed. Let my ministry to YOUR people be done from the over abundance of the good you have given me and not be from this place of lack. I will not keep trying to do ministry from this place anymore.”