We had a terrific and restful Shabbat together as a family. My favorite time was being with Isaac having tea, walking together with no dogs or kids and talking about how much our life is going to change this year and how excited I am about embracing my 50th year as a personal Jubilee year! I’m seeing it as a time to be set free from the past! I see it as a time to use the wisdom of 50 years experience to have a re-set and a chance to start over to do the next 50-70 years somewhat differently.
At the end of this year I may have to write a book about it and how giving yourself permission to take your Jubilee year is so important and also HOW to do it.
Pagans Never Stop the Treadmill
I’ve heard people say, “Oh, I’ll take care of my heart and body next year.” But it never actually happens––because everything else trumps it. They are pagans. They are slaves. They never stop. They don’t feel the freedom to stop. But I am not them. I am a Hebrew. I know how to stop and look up.
A Personal Jubilee Year!
I think that because I have been following Yah’s rhythm for so long it has helped me embrace this idea of a personal Jubilee year. I never thought of it before until I started to see 50 coming closer and closer. But in all my Feasting I’ve never figured out WHEN the Jubilee year is or HOW to do it outside of living in the land with EVERYBODY doing it (it kinda needs EVERYONE’s cooperation). So, when I saw my 50th year approaching I thought, “why not take a personal Jubilee year and give Papa the opportunity to show me what a Jubilee year can feel like. To set me free and restore me to “the land?” So, here I am. After living Papa’s rhythm I saw an opportunity to enter the “Jubilee” experience at the very moment I turned 50. I am almost looking at it as a command –– though I know it was for a collective, national Jubilee –– I’m pretending that it is a personal “command” because that is helping me take it at all costs.
50 was NOT a Good Thing to my Folks
My parents were not happy about turning 50. They DID NOT look forward to it. It made me scared for them … actually for me. They looked at it as the slide down hill. They embraced the idea of “old.” But NOT ME! Hell no! I have been looking forward to it for the past 6 months, because I see it as a Jubilee year! I see it as a chance to be set free! I feel like I’ve just begun to live. All I see is opportunity to embrace a newness and fresh perspective and a pursuit of health (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) all with the foundation of my “research and development” and wisdom of the last 50 years.
Maybe people feel like 50 is “over-the-hill” because they don’t actually see anything good after that. Just more of the same. Why can’t we stop to give our hearts what our hearts are screaming for — a break, a re-boot a chance to consider and change our lives? I’m doing it and I won’t let anyone take this chance away from me.
The Wisdom of 50 Years
For heavens sake, I am 50! I know a few things. I have wisdom. I do not have to sit positioned in a submissive posture to just anyone who speaks, who has been through less, who doesn’t understand the difference between wisdom and a capability. Of course, I’m not saying that I KNOW everything, because I haven’t done or experienced EVERYTHING and I plan on learning a heap of things over the next 70 years … how to make money for one. Wisdom isn’t knowing everything. Wisdom is bought with the high price of time and experience.
At 50 I can stand up tall and remember that I don’t have to allow someone else to position them self over me, talk down to me just because I look younger or am shorter or look curious to learn about something I’m not familiar with. There is many kinds of wisdom. Of course, the Ruach ha’Kodesh IS Wisdom Herself (King Solomon asked for Her) and I KNOW She lives in me and gives me Kingdom Wisdom, but we gain raw wisdom in areas of life where we have spent time learning and gaining head and heart knowledge. This kind of wisdom isn’t ours for just the asking. It isn’t ours just for the mere want of it. Wisdom does not come cheap. It’s priceless and costs as much as well. Wisdom takes TIME. Even the wisdom that the Ruach wants for us takes time and effort. We don’t get that over night for doing nothing. Gaining wisdom has demanded my everything. We must seek it with ALL our hearts. I have done that for 50 years and now I have clarity and the experience needed to walk in the freedom of a Jubilee year and mindset. I’m really embracing this and feel that I can walk in a personal validation of my own life and wisdom gained.
I have lived. I have loved.
More than most. Better than most.
I don’t have to apologize to anyone. I don’t have to feel embarrassed next to anyone. I have moved the head knowledge into heart knowledge! I have walked the Narrow Path at all costs and I know the Elohim of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob! I have great excitement about change this year coming with purpose and clarity.
I really need this Jubilee year––almost as much as I need water, sleep and food (and sun). If I don’t get this I feel like I will wither up and die. I sure as hell won’t be able to create or continue in ministry anymore. I have felt and mussed that it’s like I have been “squeezing water out of a turnip!”
But I thought the Jubilee Year is for the Collective?
Over the years I’ve looked at the Feasts from a collective AND a personal viewpoint. How is the Feast for ALL of Israel as a community, but also how does this Feast apply to my own life? Papa ALWAYS meets us on the intimate level as well as the epic level. And I’ve concluded that about this Jubilee year he wants his people to have a personal Jubilee year! Not any ol’ time they want. But at 50! Why flippin’ not? We need to stop, take a breath and reflect on our life. The weekly Shabbat is a kind of mini-Jubilee. Rosh ha’Shanah is another season to reflect on our lives. But a whole year? Super awesome!!! If we never stop and take a breath then our lives will just be a blur of the same ol’ activity after activity. Mindless. Numbing. Exhausting. Or just “nose-to-the-grindstone” forgetting that we are not slaves (even that we are not meant to forever be “servants of the Most High” but friends of the Most High) and that we were CREATED TO BE FREE.
We need this Jubilee year to change the situations that we don’t need to live in anymore. We need to stop mid-life and consider where we should make some shifts in our habits, thinking and goals –– otherwise the second 50 years will be no different than the first 50. And yes, I am proud of the past 50 years, but I for one need change. And I want all the GOOD change and blessings Papa Yah wants to give me! He is pleased with me. I can feel it deep in my heart. But change and freedom ain’t going to happen if I just sit back and take what comes and allow the taskmasters to drag me back to Egypt.
Pictures are Worth More than a Thousand Words
This is my picture blog from today. 🙂 A fun walk with Isaac downtown by the Falls in the morning and a matcha and cappuccino. Another hike with the girls by the river in the afternoon after a veggie burger for lunch and a little sunbathing at Spa Spokane. A little guitar with Isaac in the morning — trying my recovering voice out with song. I LOVE Shabbat when it is entered and done well. Praise Yah that this one was done well.