Papa Trusts Me

I’m so proud of Papa Yah, Mama Ruach and brother Yahshua (Elohim / Creator of the Universe)! The work they have done in my heart is so good. They really are amazing and do superior work. My heart is clean and good. My heart is true and honest. At 50 years old my heart is whole and not in a state of continual bleeding like it used to be. What is written in the Scriptures is true. A person can be healed and restored.

I’m living proof. And I’m not ashamed to brag on Their work!

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Bragging on Yah

One of my pet peeves and something I find very disturbing is people – especially religious leaders – who teach or say that they believe “God can change their life” yet, then in the next breath they are quick to rationalize their still brokenness (and others around them) by saying, “oh, we are all broken.” No, we are not all not broken! I’m not . . . anymore.

If you think I’m lying . . . I’m not. Ask Isaac, my best friend of 30+ years.

If you think I’m bragging . . . I am. I’m bragging about the work of Elohim. I have 50 years experience that gives me a huge personal knowing that THEY can take a very broken person and completely change them. If you won’t allow yourself to see and acknowledge a healed and restored person who can now walk in a ton of freedom –– then you nullify what the Scriptures says Yahshua came to do!

I am here to say that it is possible to be fully healed! YHVH Elohim does good work on our hearts. His work should be seen, it should be praised and He should get all the credit for it!

Freedom – More Than Most

I operate in gobs of freedom because I am confident in the work They (YHVH Elohim) have done in my heart. With every new situation I find myself in I am reminded that the restoration work-to-date that THEY have done in me is literally permanent and makes this level of freedom possible. This makes me bold and confident as I encounter new challenges – no matter how hard.

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Again, I run in A LOT of freedom –– more than most. Oh, the stories I could tell about the un-orthodox situations that the Ruach ha’Kodesh has led into in order for deep healing to happen. Papa has never wanted me to stay in a state of brokenness. His goal has always been to heal my broken heart so I can run in the paths of His commands with joy, be a great friend of His and be someone He can trust with His Kingdom treasures, assignments and give more domain to.

At 50 this is true of my life.

But I gotta say that I see people left and right who stop Elohim from doing what THEY need to do in that person’s life.

  • They stop Them with their fear.
  • They stop Them with their beliefs and protocols.
  • They stop Them with their own understanding of what life’s goal is.
  • They stop Them with judgement and what the healing process looks like.
  • They stop Them by being worried about what other people think.

How can the Ruach get any work done in us when we live in such chains!

Heart-Level Healing

We have a HUGE part to play in this healing process –– or not. You see, the Ruach never drags us into change or healing. She couldn’t because Her and Her Family values free will — A LOT! No, She only INVITES us to follow Her into places we’ve never been before in order to have access to deep places in our hearts –– in order to heal us. For example, maybe She wants to access your deep heart through a piece of music that is on a popular channel. She knows it’s the best way. You would have to feel the freedom to go there with Her even if you felt that channel was a little risky. You know what I’m saying? But if we refuse to go with her, if we talk too much, live in our head and don’t let our heart speak or if we are in the habit of trouble shooting around Her invitation then She can NOT do any healing work in us –- because we are in Her way!

(Let’s get it out of the way –––– I am not talking about breaking His Law on any level here, people!)

Sometimes She will take you somewhere in order for you to tap into your disgust for it and never touch it again. This is how I got freedom from chocolate. Chocolate doesn’t control me. I control it. But it wasn’t always like this. I had a HUGE and complex relationship with chocolate in my 20’s. I would binge on it before finals, when I was hurt in love or when I felt lonely. So, one day the Ruach called me to go buy a ton of my favorite chocolate. Then I was impressed to get in a bubble bath and eat the chocolate until I was sick to my stomach. I did. I was. I quit. Forever.

Experience will tell you if it is Her invitation or not. And of course, wisdom will not have you stay there––you move through it. But you don’t get experience or wisdom if you won’t do anything that involves risks. YHVH Elohim is a risk taker. With every person They extract from the Matrix They take a HUGE risk –– because of true FREE WILL. That blew me away when I realized that decades ago. Now I know why I take risks – I’m a chip off the ol’ block.

Sitting on the sofa or in a church pew will not get us healed. We have to follow Her (the Ruach) to a haunted mountain to endure winter after winter in a tent. We have to be willing to get on a plane and go see a love from our past to find out where our heart still isn’t free from them. We have to be willing to enter a pagan ethics class to learn some skill sets that will focus the surrendered-to-Yah heart with precision. We have to be willing to spend our last penny helping someone else so that we can see and inherit His provision for us. We have to be willing to take a course from a pagan whom Papa wants to use to teach us something He’ll use for good.

The Ruach ha’Kodesh Doesn’t Fit in a Box, People

I have not put the Ruach into a box. How can I? She’s the Ruach! Do I know what she is up to? No. So, instead I have let her move me into crazy situations that most believers would be disturbed with. I’m on the verge of a new journey now. If people only knew –– they would play the judge. Actually, they have. They would say that is not from YHVH Elohim! Actually, they have. But I wasn’t born yesterday! I have 50 years of heavy-duty experience behind me that has turned into wisdom that I can lean on. I am very confident in my relationship with the Ruach. I know where I am going. I know what is going on. I know They are risk takers and I trust Them!

OMG! He Trusts Me

And guess what? Today I realized that Papa trusts me. Yes, He trusts me. Sounds provocative right? But I’ve been curious why my heart is so at peace with this whole unorthodox Sabbatical adventure and focus I have been given. And now I know. It’s because He trusts me. I’m only now ready for this.

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I’ve spent most of my adult life allowing him to heal me, following His Ruach into the wild and unknown places. Papa has pounded me in the fire like a blacksmith pounds the metal –– forging it into a beautiful and useful piece of art. I have spent my life proving to Him that I want Him to pound away, that I’m willing to follow His Ruach ha’Kodesh into the Wilderness at all costs. All of these things have focused my “Why.”

My “Why” is because I want to experience life as it was meant to be. And I have to get into the Happily-Ever-After and eat from the Tree of Life to get that life.

This is What a Jubilee Year is About! Crazy Freedom on a New Level!

50 years of proving that I trust Him. 50 years of pounding. And now . . . I feel trusted back. Wow! This is truly an amazing feeling. It’s freedom. It’s like flying. I barely have words to describe what I now know. This is the place from which blessings will flow to. Not before this moment.

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He trusts me. He can give me more now. This is true freedom. This is the point of the pounding.

If you feel hesitant to go with the Ruach into the wild places –– you’ve just begun your journey into this level of freedom. But hold on for the ride. If you will let Her the Ruach ha’Kodesh will set you free. Free to walk the path of obedience with a light and happy heart, because you know the point of walking it. But it takes time––if you’ve been game most of your life, maybe it will only take 50 years.

Finished Cleaning Today

I finished deep Spring cleaning today. I finally went through all my presents from my birthday parties and I ran into this poster Maggie made for me:

A poster from my birthday party

I love it! Friends wrote out adjectives that they thought describe me. Super sweet! These things (and more) are truly part of my character. They describe who I am — the authentic me. And each one of them is a huge story gained at high costs during this 50 years of living following the Ruach into the unknown.

How I Acquired These Traits

For example, I learned to be “fearless” by looking at Papa instead of the enemy when there was much to fear and much pain came.

I learned how to be “passionate” by allowing my heart to love another and risk getting hurt–over and over and over.

I learned how to be “whole-hearted” when life only gave me two options: give it my all or perish –– literally.

I became “diligent” and “dedicated” through constant daily routines and discipline.

I became “brave” by facing the enemy with the power of Yahshua over and over again.

I became “Godly,” “obedient” and “faithful” by walking in rhythm with Papa Yah every Biblical holiday at the cost of friends, family and reputation in the church community.

I became “creative” by letting my heart speak instead of shutting it up.

I am “wild” because I won’t let anyone tame me except my Papa –– He’s wild and I’m a chip off the ol’ block. 🙂

How about you? What characteristic traits describe you and how have you acquired them? I guarantee you it was not by sitting on the couch, in a pew or online surfing the internet!

I’ve never had one of these before….

I have never owned a makeup organizer until today!

I think summer has come. It was 65º today. I sunbathed again in the truck and have that nice sun-kissed glow. Too much snow still on the ground to lay there.

After I finished the bathroom (of which I splurged and got a makeup organizer — never had one before) Hadassah and I celebrated that I’m totally done with the Spring deep cleaning of the apartment! Now I am ready to move onto what my Sabbatical year is all about — change! Okay, after I finish our taxes. But I’m super excited — and a little nervous to be honest. But I am gonna give it my all, because I want movement here for this little family – asap!

Join me here for tweeking your habits for a 30-day challenge:

About Lady Rebekah

The Happy Hippy Hebrew Girl :-)
This entry was posted in My 50th Year and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Papa Trusts Me

  1. Rosa Watkins says:

    I am so happy that I found a new insight about our YHVH Elohim to study with. Thank you for being faithful to Elohim. Love your character and Love your personality. YHVH Elohim has given you a wonderful wonderful Spirit. Your friend and sister in YHVH Elohim. Amen.

  2. V Clough says:

    Beautifully said, Rebekah.

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