I am 50 …

… and I am loved.

I woke up with no voice. Literally. Gone. Nothing. I must have given it away in the Zoom party yesterday. Who knew?

I am 50

This morning Isaac and Maggie were busy at work the kitchen finishing up things for the party they were throwing me later today. Smiling. Busy. Happy.

But I wasn’t feeling 100%. Frustrating. I’ve literally been sick since Feb. 2nd — and it’s March 10th. I’ve done everything I could to get my immune system to fight better. You name it, I feel like I’ve done it. I’m tired of trying. I never thought I’d still be sick for my 1/2 century-old birthday. But I am. I hear it’s a bad bug going around. It morphs and hangs on for 5-6 weeks.

Can we say evil? I grow sick with longing for the return of Paradise.

But like Papa always does he gave me sunshine on my birthday. Blue sky and a little warmth to the rays. That makes me feel healthier, happy and hopeful. Isaac and I took a stroll around the apartments in our big winter boots and our big coats. I got winded. I needed to go back and sit down. I could see the worry and sadness in both Maggie and Isaac’s eyes all morning. I’m so sorry. I wish I could get my energy back more than anyone.

I opted out of my special breakfast they always make me for cornmeal mush and oj.

They have told me nothing for months. All I knew is that I was supposed to be dressed up and ready to go around 3pm — and something about wooden floors.

In my second new birthday dress

After putzing around the house all morning I took a long hot shower, ironed my new dress, covered my dark circles with makeup and got my hair done. I felt better once I was dressed up. PJ’s in the middle of the day make me feel sick. The girls had long left to go to the venue to set up with friends. After dolling up I presented myself to Isaac, who was waiting for me in the living room. He thought I looked beautiful and definitely didn’t look sick or 50. I love hearing that.

Isaac helped me to the car. I felt so helpless. Well, high heels in snowy conditions isn’t exactly the smartest thing. It was a quiet hour drive as I was trying to save my voice and Isaac relies on me chatting to fill the void.

I figured it out as we exited 95 South. We were driving towards one of my favorite little grange halls in a dell.

Super cool.

I walked in and was greeted with shouts of joy. The brilliance of the moment overcame the darkness of the sickness and I entered into the party with all of my heart. I smiled, hugged, danced, ate and laughed! I had a grand time. Sunshine. Adrenaline. Friends. Haystacks. Presents. Dancing. Beautiful decorations. Wood stove, wooden floors and of course, Isaac’s organic homemade chocolate cake. OMG! If only I had been 100% I would have eaten more and danced more.

The laughter of the 11 children under 5 years old was music to my ears! Dancing to Elvis Presley with my childhood friend, Kavika gave me energy. My skirt swirled. I felt like I was 20 years old for a few minutes. Everyone loved my dress and said I didn’t look 50 at all.

Isaac hosted. He told everyone that my lack of voice (as I was trying to sign) was an opportunity for someone else to host a party for me instead of the other way around. Grand idea. Isaac had hired a caller who came to teach old fashioned contra dancing and lead the party along. I’m undone! How did he afford that? How did Maggie afford the decorations? How did they afford the grange hall? They won’t tell me. So, I’ll never know. But what a gift!

I heard that Isaac was the one who decided on dancing, who arranged the place and caller. Wow! Can I just say “Wow!”

And I am so moved over the fact that Maggie arranged for the guests and decore. She has proved her capabilities to organize and pull off a beautiful event from start to finish on her own with Isaac as her mentor. The task of getting that many people to show up to an event is no small matter. I well know. She has been super busy planning this on top of college, work and dance. The teen years has been rough for her and I. But her love for me was evidenced in all the details and in choosing things that she knew that I would like.

Right before we went into the hall for the party

I’m not going to cry. Actually yes, I am.

They say that you are blessed to have just 1 good friend. I must be rich. I have a lot of friends. Friends came from near and far. Some drove several hours to get here. We danced together. They prayed over me. They patiently leaned forward to hear me whisper to them. They hugged me in the flesh. We ate together and laughed — even though they could barely hear me.

I am loved.

As the evening came to a close Isaac and I pulled chairs over by the wood stove and we ate a cupcake together to celebrate. But by then I was done. I barely held on as we cleaned up and got home late. Tomorrow I’m going to the doctor. I’ll be better.

Papa has given me 50 years. I feel like in those 50 years I have had 12+ lives. I’m going for another 70 and 12 more lives — if Yahshua doesn’t return before that and make me immortal. That will be a grand day!

Thank you, Maggie. Thank you, Isaac. I will get better and then I’m really going to have a good long cry. For now I’ll just post party pictures and look at my flowers, gifts and cupcakes.

About Lady Rebekah

The Happy Hippy Hebrew Girl :-)
This entry was posted in My 50th Year and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I am 50 …

  1. vscloughyahoocom says:

    Beautiful as always inside and out. Happy Birthday! I pray you feel better soon.

  2. Heather Miller says:

    How beautiful! You have a wonderful, loving family and friends. I pray for Yah to restore you back to perfect health. May Yah bless you and keep you! Enjoy your year off and rest in Papa!

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